November 30, 2009
And That my Friends…
Adam Lambert kissed a male band member at the recent American Music Awards. I tried to track down a video, but they’ve all been taken off the web due to copyright issues. But that hasn’t stopped the controversy.
Many news and family groups are up in arms. But they are also up in amnesia. Just a few years ago, Brittney kissed Madonna at the AMA, and people loved it. Why? It was just as gay, just as “deviant” and sensational. But it was also “hot.” Women kissing women can be capitalized upon as a turn-on for heterosexual male culture, and thus plopped back into our heteronormative way of life. And that my friends, is called hypocrisy. A gay couple can get your rocks off, but they can’t just be themselves. You gonna eat that hashbrown?
Can I just put in a shout out for the ridiculousness of calling kissing obscenity, gender aside?
November 27, 2009
Check it out!
Sorry for my long absence. I know it’s hard to go without me for this long. Or at all. My wit and cunning and sexy debonair makes your life worth living, i know. What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. It’s called RWS. Rachel Withdrawl Syndrome — and it’s okay. There’s help.
In the meantime, while I’ve been uncerimoniously not entertaining you, I set up a blog for my artwork / art career! www.eclecticart.wordpress.com. GO OR I WILL LEAVE YOU AGAIN.
November 13, 2009
Please Sir, Can I have Some More? “Rationing” Health Care
I just read an article at http://www.americanthinker.com about “rationed” health care. Bollocks.
Here’s the link:
http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/06/call_it_what_it_is_rationed_he.html
Since this issue is one I take very seriously, I will spend most of the following dispelling American Thinker’s cute little quips than introducing my own. And I do so because this is what is wrong with the health care debate: no one really knows what the new health care plan is or what any of its components mean (I don’t even!). So instead of really partaking in intelligent discourse, we indulge in propaganda, scare tactics, out-of-context information, and flat out misconstructions of the truth intended to lead you in one direction while blinding you to the other half of the fork in the road. As such, this article and I are going to have a debate in another edition of Dear God it’s what Rachel Thinks
Article:
“Any or all of these will lead to a government takeover of the health care industry.”
DGIWRT:
Health care should not be an industry. No one should be profiting off of someone’s poor health, and decisions certainly should not be made with profit in mind.
Article:
“Should your grandmother get a hip replacement? Go down the hall to the queue outside Office 37-B and fill out more forms. We’ll let you know in a few months. Hey, you with the brain tumor. Get back in line.”
DGIWRT:
Speaking as someone with a brain tumor, I can’t tell you how many doctors I had to see, referrals I had to beg for, insurance forms I had to fill out, monstrous copays I had to pay, and overall shitty treatment I received even on double coverage from the health care industry. Or maybe I can tell you. Oh wait, I don’t have a year of your time.
Furthermore, people who can’t afford insurance don’t even get to be in line
Article:
“A centralized system would give the government the power of life and death over America’s families”
DGIWRT:
How is government having the power over life and death any worse than an HMO having this power? The government is no more impersonal, the government is no more profit-seeking, the government is no more frugal, the government is no more misinformed.
Article:
“Such a system also reinforces the idea that government is God.”
DGIWRT:
You’re a paranoid propaganda peddling fuck
Article:
“Often treatment is not withheld altogether, but it is delayed, sometimes with the result that the patient’s condition worsens. … About 50 per cent had to wait over a month and 20 per cent more than three months. Over one in three of those waiting said that their condition had got worse while they were waiting and 14 per cent claimed to be ‘in a lot of pain.'”
DGIWRT:
I waited 9 months for a shoulder surgery. 9 months. You need to look at the present facts before peddling future fears
Article:
“Randy Stroup, 53, a cancer patient, applied for aid under Oregon’s state health plan in 2008. He got a letter denying payments for chemotherapy, but offering money to help him kill himself.”
DGIWRT:
This statement is strikingly misleading. First, the Oregon Health Plan was introduced in the 1990’s, at which point it was far more comprehensive than it is today (or in 2008) due to cutbacks because we would rather give subsidies to Portland General Electric than pay for chemotherapy. What this article doesn’t tell you is that the OHP expanded healthcare for thousands of Oregonians who were in a terrible limbo between not qualifying for medicare and not affording their own insurance. Furthermore, this man had less than a 5 percent chance of significant recovery. This was not a man that was denied arbitrarily. Yes, it would be wonderful if the state could pay for his chemotherapy. And since you agree, I’m sure you’d also agree to taking a small bite out of pentagon funding to do so.
Also, the fact that they would offer assisted-suicide is pretty irrelevant
And ten bucks says he petitioned the government because his private insurance wouldn’t cover his chemotherapy either. Or he didn’t have any to begin with.
Gimme more gimme more…gimme gimme more
November 11, 2009
Not that Kind…
So last spring/summer I went “abroad” to Hawai’i.
I am lucky enough to have family there — my Uncle and my Grandma
Early in my trip they took me to Queens Park, a beautiful beach side park in Honolulu.
The conversation went a little something like this
Uncle: This is Queens Park…where all the Queens come
Rachel: Wait, like…the royal kind, or…another kind?
Uncle: LIKE THE GAY KIND!
I. love. my. uncle.
What kind of Queen are you?
October 30, 2009
I’m sure you’ve Gathered I’m a Genius
Well, I’m sure you’ve gathered that I am a genius. And along these lines, I present you with the first of many oh-so-hilarious t shirts of my design for your fabulous enjoyment.
You know it is
October 28, 2009
Slutty What Now?
I’ve figured it out. Your secret is no longer safe, at least with me. Halloween, you’ve been busted.
For decades, Halloween has been a wholesome, jolly occasion to dress up and have wholesome, jolly fun. But not really. If you look at the holiday a little closer, Halloween is really a wholesome, jolly occasion to dress up as slutty as possible. After all, it’s all justifiable with a little “Trick or Treat!”
Basically, all Halloween costumes are ordinary characters with the word “slutty” put in front of it. Yeah, we all know zombies don’t wear mini skirts.
Take the slutty nurse costume. Nurses poke and prod you in unmentionable places. They are not fun. And how many scantily clad nurses are there in real life? How many on October 31st? See, just add the prefix “slutty” to any character and woh-oh-OH do we have a killer costume. And so, the slutty nurse, the slutty vampire, the slutty secretary, and so many more have been born.
So here is a list of other jobs that should be added to the Halloween repetoire of sluttiness — costumes that will be magnificently transformed by your willingness to skank it up!
Slutty Walmart Greeter
Slutty Mail Room Worker
Slutty DMV Worker
Slutty Cafeteria Lady
Slutty Telemarketer
I can feel the Halloween magic already!!!
You’re putting that WHERE?
October 26, 2009
Super Powers
While wandering, lost, around china town most recently, i started to think of what super powers i would have if i could. Here are a few:
1. I would have a built in GPS system in my head that would come out every time I said Go-Go-Gadget-GPS and zoom down in front of my eyes. That way, I WOULDN’T GET LOST IN CHINA TOWN
2. I would be able to harness static-electricity and shock people I don’t like from afar. Then they’d be looking around going “whazzat? ouch! who did that? ouch! what the..where…OUCH!” It’d be great and I would be the most vengeful and deviosityous person ever!!!
3. I would have the ability to make up new words
4. I would be able to breath fire, and therefore expedite the making of s’mores
5. I would say I would fly, but I already own a motorcycle, so…
6. I would have the ability to convince Hawai’ian people that 50cc motorized vehicles are called scooters, and not mopeds. This is not a cultural thing like slippers, it is a technical definition learn to love it
7. I would be able to bring truth to the time honored saying “straight like spaghetti….”
8. I would be able to read people’s minds
9. I would turn water into martinelli’s apple juice
10. I would be able to tackle people so hard they started crying…oh wait…
11. I would make taxis, busses, and friends appear out of thin air. I hate waiting.
12. I would have SOME kind of Radar, JewDar, GayDar, Didn’t-Wash-HandsDar, ANYTHING instead of the NoDar that I have.
13. I would be able to fall asleep on cue when embarassed…oh…wait
14. I would be able to respond to anything you said with a bob dylan quote. MORE SO.
15. I would have the ability to make the little pockets of unmixed cheese powder in your mac-n-cheese DISAPPEAR
16. I would have, upon my Midas-like touch, the ability to make women not crazy. This would be the greatest super power there ever was and ever will be
17. I would have the ability to suddenly tongue tie a person making a fiery impassioned speech. Now that’s just funny.
18. If looks could kill. No seriously that would be cool.
19. Two words: spidy sense
I look like this. Only cooler.
October 24, 2009
Religious Freedom Explained (by me)
Freedom of Religion. It is one of the most important rights granted to the people of this country. Now, of course, we all know that when the Freedom of Religion clause was introduced, it wasn’t really Freedom of Religion but rather, Freedom from Religion — that religion being the Anglican church burgling all that Puritan swazy. But in a modern context, we use the term in its literal sense, the right to practice whatever religion you choose without persecution. SCORE!
But this is where things start to go wrong: Freedom of Religion is a passive right. A personal right. it is the right to do whatever gets your cross up, in your own space, on your own time.
But lately, many groups have begun to obfuscate Freedom of Religion into an active right. An outward, societal right — a right in which expressing freedom of religion extends to crafting society to fit that religion, or exercising it in a way that effects others. And when you effect others when expressing your religion, you have just stepped on their personal right to practice their religion (or lack there of).
Not giving out birth control because Jesus said no (or did he…)? Well distribution of birth control to soemone else doesn’t actually effect you
Protesting gay marriage because it doesn’t fit your definition of marriage? Well their definition of marriage doesn’t change yours. No one is preventing you from marrying Laura and making you marry Steve. Don’t make me follow your Adam and Steve bullshit
Not hiring a gay Boy Scout leader? Again, not you.
So stop forcing your religion on others and calling it freedom. Because remember, I have a freedom from your religion as much as you have a freedom to it.
Just don’t burgle my swazy
Just In a Day' s Work 