April 27, 2010

Entitlement

Posted in Comic Editorial, senate, Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 11:36 pm by justinadayswork

Before you let the words “that’s my hard-earned money going to taxes” ever pass your lips again, sit down, look in the mirror, and ask yourselves the following:

Do you:

Drive on city or state roads?

Did you attend public school or send your children to public school?

Have 911 in your cell phone to call the police?

Call the fire department when if your house is on fire? Or your cat stuck in a lil’ tree?

Check out books from a public library?

Get your license renewed at the DMV?

Basked in the glory of clean floors and empty trashcans at the statehouse?

Used a Pell Grant to help pay for your degree at Fiscal Idiot State?

Watch the busted water main in front of your house get fixed?

Frolick in your favorite city park?

Do you, or will you, get a social security check in the mail?

Benefit from one of hundreds of other city, state, and federal services?

Yeah.

Thought so.

So next time you whine about losing all your hard earned money to those pork-barrel feds, remember that it’s not actually your money. It’s money you owe. You are paying for a variety of services you use everyday and for some reason feel entitled to have without supporting them monetarily so that they can function. I’m not naive enough to suggest that you benefit from every federally or state funded program — you don’t. But for every program out there that you either don’t believe in or don’t make use of, there’s another person out there who makes no use of a program that serves you. It’s called being a citizen. It’s called contributing a the greater good — a greater good that serves you every day in one way or another.

What really amuses me is that it’s the same people who decry taxes to pay for every day services that call programs like health care and welfare entitlement programs. Meanwhile, they don’t want to pay to support the services they use every day. Now that’s entitlement.

But it’s mine!!

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April 19, 2010

A Day in the Life…

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , at 11:47 pm by justinadayswork

A day in the life…

Pssh…Amateurs

 

People whine about bureaucracy in congress. Get that president in line. Tell your senators what to do Goddamnit. They protest. Form tea parties rallies. Write letters. These patriots are gonna fight the man and the depths of hell will not stop them

These people are amateurs. This afternoon I walked into an institution where bureaucracy knows no bounds: Rite Aid. When I go to the pharmacy it’s like going to a gun fight. I have my paper prescriptions in one holster, the refillable bottles in the other. I know this is going to be a war. 

Pharmacists have to follow regulations to the letter, and there are more regulations than pills in a bottle. So my simple quest to pick up an ol’ prescription becomes like slaying a minotaur deep inside the labyrinth: my prize, some little blue morsels in a bottle: my quest: a maze of insurance denials, miswritten or misread prescriptions, expiration dates 1 day past, and ornery, jaded pharmacists who just wished they could have been doctors.

With reservation, I place my prescription on the counter. You can’t be too careful with these people; there are rumors of pharmacy techs morphing into labyrinthine chimera on cue. My rule: never get too close. So at arms’ length, my scrip falls gingerly to the counter to be scooped up and examined brutally by the mythical beast in a lab coat.

“Oh no,” the pharmacist says, as she taps out letters on a computer keyboard. “Your insurance won’t be covering this.” High gear mode sets in. What is this pharmacist talking about? I thought insurance and I were pals. Last month the insurance company and I frolicked together with ponies and kittens, with rainbows showering down pharmaceuticals as they joyfully covered my prescription. But now it looks like things have changed. Maybe they don’t think this love affair will work after all. But insurance company! We were so good together!

I go to the ultimate source to trample the insurance company bureaucracy: my mother. Dialing her digits on my phone, holding back hyperventilating breaths, I told my knight in shining apron the situation: the insurance company had some kind of procedural problem now that I had a new ID number on my insurance card. “I’ll take care of this,” she said. I provided her with names and phone numbers, and told her to call me back. Thank god for mom, I thought, because all I could say was “screw perscriptions. I need a beer.”

 

 

Oh sure, she looks friendly NOW 

April 16, 2010

Huzzah!

Posted in Comic Editorial, Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 8:27 pm by justinadayswork

Today’s executive order should be celebrated by saying something equally gay! HUZZAH!

Today is a good day. Obama passed an executive order allowing gay partners hospital visitation rights.

WHAT A CRAZY IDEA!! People want to see their loved ones when dying? Get out of town. Get out.

Way to be an innovative thinker Obama

Rumor is that next he’ll pass executive orders that the sun will set in the west, rain comes from clouds, and everyone on American Idol is a tool.

Obvi

But seriously, this is pretty landmark. My point is that it is such an obvious need that it shouldn’t even need an executive order/should have happened a long time ago.

 

Hmmmm…..

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:45 pm by justinadayswork

SubSCriBE!!

please? I’m special

April 10, 2010

A Rose by any Other Name…Would not be as Hilarious

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 11:11 pm by justinadayswork

Teabagging.

Noun: The act of sticking it to the man about exorbitant taxes by emulating the Boston Tea Party

Teabagging

Verb: SOMETHING VERY DIFFERENT

You really gotta ask yourself, did the family and conservative groups that started the “Teabagging” movement realize what they were referencing? Maybe next they’ll start a rusty trombone section in the high school band.

Wouldn’t that be entertaining.

You know this was what was really going down at the Boston Tea Party

April 9, 2010

A few things to check out:

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 6:06 pm by justinadayswork

Here are a few things to check out on Youtube:

1. The Bible Tells me so (not just the animated version — be a big boy/girl, watch the whole thing!)

2. The gay moralist

3. Boogie Boogie Hedgehog

You will be enlightened

Eatin on a Carrot, Got your head stuck in a toilet paper tube

Boogie Boogie Hedgehog, WHATCHA GONNA DO?

April 6, 2010

The Bible Tells me so

Posted in Comic Editorial tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 10:02 pm by justinadayswork

Leviticus 20:13: A man shall not lieth with another man as he lieth with a woman. It is an abomination unto G-d

Look, here’s the thing. I really don’t think Leviticus was against homosexuality. I think Leviticus just knew that God was a really astute anatomist.

Well, that certainly can’t go there…